I am a woman.
I am British.
I am a sister.
I am a daughter.
This list could go on relentlessly but somewhere hidden in the depths of my psyche is something I tentatively whisper; I am a kind of professional, with an office job and a degree of responsibility. Oh my god, I have a day job. And even worse I quite enjoy it!
It's taken me a long time to recognise/admit that I am not defined by being an actor. What a liberation this was. Firstly, my daddy's never going to buy me a house or car so I've always had a strong work ethic. I knew anything I wanted in this life I would have to work for; nothing comes for free (unless you steal & that comes with it's own costly consequences). And secondly, even if I had the privilege I yearned after for so many years, I still would want to get out and do a hard days graft. Not because I'm some kind of superwoman but because sitting at home on your own without a purpose or timetable can be debilitating. To enjoy your days off, you need to have some days on. The confusion was, that after graduating with a BA hons in professional acting (still makes me chuckle) I thought that I would find my contentment & wealth as an actor. Well partly, but that's not the whole picture.
Drama school teaches you a lot but one thing it omits is real life studies. How do you survive as an actor? My voice, body & mind are trained for when the director says yes, but the other side of the coin is a frightening mirage. Seeing and believing the jobs are there, but often a hairs breadth away they dissolve in the harsh light of day. We've all got different stories of temp job nightmares and I've had my fair share of good and bad. Starting in retail, switching to waitressing & bar work, a little babysitting on the side, a short & horrific stint in a call centre, music teaching, catering & finally I ended up running an event space and I've been there for almost two years. I never thought I'd stay anywhere for this long but it's just worked, and as the business grows and changes so does my role and I love it. I work with fantastic people who are genuine friends and understand that I am also a trained actor. Sometimes my life actually seems quite glamorous; a couple of days in the office & then a train trip to Cardiff for a bit of filming. Well, my standards may be lower than some but it all seems rather exciting! I know it's not always easy to find a company that will welcome a working actor, but I do believe a big part of succeeding in the search is being unafraid to commit. To not feel any less of an actor because you work hard at something else.
The general trend to eschew the reality of a second job reminds me of the undeniable class bias in the industry- Barbara Ellen highlights this well in a recent article: 'the financial difficulties of developing and sustaining an acting career mean that the hard-up are gradually being faded out of the picture'. Perhaps being more transparent, and accepting and understanding the necessity to have other income streams may begin the dialogue to redress this imbalance. Being solvent doesn't have to be a taboo!
I was chatting to a friend recently & she talked about how she found it hard to consolidate her day job with being an actor. To not feel like your betraying one for concentrating on the other. Or to be embarrassed to give your credentials as a thesp whilst you sit in front of a computer scheduling your bosses diary. But why beat ourselves up? We're doubly employable! What other professional would be so ashamed to have transferable skills to excel in more than one field. OK, excel may be a little extreme but it's easy to forget how rewarding it feels to do well at something and get recognition, that in some fields there is a direct correlation between working hard & success. Be proud of being an actor and the ability to turn your hand to so many things & certainly don't feel shame to want or need to do other work. Some people argue a side job should never be anything you get too involved with so as to not take focus away from the real goal, but I disagree. Being successful in your 'normal' day to day life has positive connotations for your acting. The stench of desperation tends to fade & others see we are functioning, intelligent human beings with other interests & desires. My career has definitely improved in conjunction with finding satisfaction in my daily enterprise. If a day, a week or a year in another work environment makes you feel stronger- hoorah! Don't feel guilty. I chose my profession for a multitude of reasons but primarily to make me happy, so if other things have the same effect this is a bonus.
Waiting is arduous. 'Resting' is unrealistic. To diversify is powerful. Writing, directing or something completely disassociated to the profession, it feels fabulous to take control.
My name is Amelia Donkor.
I am an actor and I am also Client Relations Manager at Icetank Studio.
I am made up of many things and I hope the list will keep growing. I certainly know I won't be afraid to embrace every bit of this complex puzzle that makes me who I am.
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My double life!
