The Shine ™

Walking through a sunny London early this morning, trainers on my feet & music in my ears, I literally bounded through the streets and imagined I was in the opening titles of my film. 'The Life of Amelia Donkor so far' (title TBC) is a gentle perusal of a sometimes debaucherous, often excitable woman and her existence. I'm really quite happy right now and enjoying the plotlines thus far, however I'm not entirely sure who the author is because 29 years in I'm not exactly where I expected to be professionally. A decade after graduating from LAMDA I have had a fair to middling career, and though my passion has not waned, my frustration has grown!

Catching up with a couple of actor friends this week, one of them coined the term 'The Shine™' and it has stuck with me. Questioning why it was nigh on impossible to be seen for certain companies/jobs or finding yourself in 2nd place perpetually, she cleverly suggested it was because we didn't have 'The Shine™'. Now, 'The Shine™' cannot be bought, can't really be earnt, it is an intangible, magical light bestowed upon the chosen few. An actors desire, intellect and talent has no bearing on 'The Shine™', though please note that some with 'The Shine™' are bloody brilliant, it's just not correlational. In my bid to save us all from getting dirty, here are my top tips to getting 'The Shine™':

• Turn Back Time

This is not necessarily age related, but if you have the ability to rewind time and get that freshly graduated glow it will do you the world of good. The taste of the unknown and possibility of plucking a star from obscurity is an exciting prospect for the industry and may create the required shine; please note this method does have a warranty which normally runs 12-18 months after the time machine has landed.

• Sleep your way to The Shine™

Now this one is morally contentious and may not work in any way, but beggars can't be choosers! This is gender neutral but of course does require some research on sexual orientation, promiscuity etc of your chosen target.

• Reality Bites

If training and commitment won't cut the mustard, maybe a stint on reality television might? You may not make it to the upper echelons of getting dropped in a jungle or trapped in a house, but you're only one tragedy away from having that X Factor!


So there are my words of wisdom on how to get The Shine™. If I scrub long and hard enough I might find something someone else is looking for, but deep down I think I might be shiny enough.